Our minds are CUNNING.

How often do you think to yourself, “I worked hard today, I DESERVE a glass of wine!”

That big beautiful brain of yours is amazing in so many ways, it is creative, brilliant and works FAST.

We can think thoughts faster than we can realize something is even happening in our physical body, ie. physical sensations and/or emotions. This is how when we touch something hot, our hand pulls away before we even register that it's hot. It is completely automatic, our reactions happen quickly.

It is our brain’s main mission to manage our situation and KEEP US SAFE. It usually does a pretty great job! It works to create programs that is can then run on autopilot. It's only when a program has become a habit and therefore is no longer a conscious decision (because we have taught our brains this is good by doing it a hundred times before) that we can get stuck in a cycle of doing something that no longer resonates with who we are.

These programs can be tricky to change, let me explain.

Our brain’s are amazing, but also LAZY. The brain works on a memory loop, and over time is programmed by our repetitive experiences so that it doesn’t have to continue to work so hard in managing our bodies through daily life. This makes decision making easier, based on the repetitive action. It no longer has to think so hard but will actually start to influence your emotions and your actions through subtle shifts in your hormones.

So when you have created a PATTERN, or something has become habit (meaning we can do it without thinking -- like driving a car) our brains respond in whichever way we have taught it to through reward.

Example: I feel accomplished, I deserve a drink (reward). I feel stressed, so I should have a drink (relief). I feel excited, so I would love a drink (celebration)!

Our brain is only responding to the stimulus or trigger that is being presented and follows it with the most common desire that will fulfil that need. Something we have taught it to expect in those situations.

Another example to help explain my point: When I feel tired, I feel relief when I lay down in bed. When I feel hungry, I feel relief when I eat something. See how this works? The brain learns certain actions based on the desire or situation that it is currently experiencing.

Everything our brain does is to make us FEEL a certain way. It is intrinsically linked to our emotional center (“heart center”) and it “knows” it has done a good job when your nervous system calms down and emotionally you feel “better”.

Now this is when things get sticky; you have been programming your brain since childhood. These programs run deep in our subconscious minds and can continue to run EVEN AFTER we want, or decide, to change the behaviour.

So take drinking for example. I have programmed my brain to encourage the desire for alcohol in all of these different situations, only now my life situation has changed - I WANT different things. I WANT to drink less. Well, the subconscious mind has not received the memo… and so the programming keeps running LONG AFTER we want it to stop.

Now the reality is that most people don’t care. They continue to run around letting alcohol control their minds, emotions and behaviours forever. These are the people that say things like, “I’m too old to change now," "drinking is part of my heritage," or make excuses like “my drinking isn’t THAT bad.” They are content to just continue on in the status quo and aren’t looking for transformational change.

AND that’s totally fine! I have many beautiful, talented, kind people in my life that their drinking is not an issue for them, and so I say great! You do you! I have learned to love them unconditionally and removed any judgement for how they want to live their lives. (That is just another added benefit of going on the spiritual journey to find total freedom from alcohol. It means you have a deep understanding that everyone's journey is their own.)

If you are here, I am considering that person is not you. That you are probably feeling the discontent with your drinking and want to do something about it.

So when it becomes painful, when it IS an emotional issue for you, when you are thinking about HOW TO QUIT, and enjoying the effects of alcohol less and less - this is called cognitive dissonance. It's when we are holding two conflicting beliefs about alcohol. Our hearts know one thing to be true - alcohol is not serving me, but our brains are still working on the preconditioned programming from our past - alcohol is fun, and I love to drink any chance I get!

Now for those who have no resistance to the programming, CHEERS! Go about your business, have fun! (While you still can…)

For those not interested in living life as a pre-programmed booze guzzling robot, we have work to do.

Those programs have got to go!

They can be removed by noticing them, they can be removed by replacing them, they can be removed by somatically integrating the stuck energy that is creating the underlying issue (this last one is especially useful for people who are using alcohol to cope with trauma and heavy emotions like grief, despair, hopelessness, abandonment, anger, etc.).

One of the simplest ways to start, is asking yourself this question the next time you have a strong urge or craving to have a drink:

Is this drink really what I want/need right now, or is it a mask for something deeper that I am looking to fulfill? What need am I trying to fill with alcohol instead of consciously choosing a healthier alternative?

No judgement, we have all done it. I just want you to start to get curious about what need is looking to be met so that then we can replace alcohol with a healthier coping strategy that actually benefits you! Bringing awareness to the deeper motivation will allow you to find an alternative that feels more aligned with who you are becoming, rather than who you USED to be.

Journal on the answers you come up with. Just work to get it out on paper so you can see in for yourself. Then you will be able to come back to these realizations the next time your brain is telling you to drink. Ask yourself what is it that I truly need? 

This is the awareness needed to see the hidden programming, this is how you know when to replace the habit with something more congruent with who you are, and this is a place where you may have some deeper stuck energy that is looking to be released from your physical body in order to process.

Can you see now how our cunning mind works against us in times of change?

If you want to change your relationship with alcohol but can't understand why you keep drinking, hopefully this helps to bring some clarity to the situation. Just remember, it isn't YOU that is incapable of change, it is just that there is some deeper work to do to change the subconscious programs that are currently running the show.

With the right information and questioning we can prove your new beliefs about alcohol to your subconscious mind and work to repattern the behaviours that show up in the times that you once would've relied on alcohol. That is the simplest way I know to create sustainable and lasting change to your drinking that feels good, without ever relying on willpower.